When I get dressed in the morning, I'm not thinking about what will get attention. I'm not thinking about getting compliments. I do give a bit of thought to whether the clothes I choose will honor my body...my gift from God. Will I cast pearls before swine? Or will I cherish, value and respect the person I am, inside and out, the best way I know how? I don't look at this gift with ridicule or disgust. But I don't look at it with pride either. I look at myself with appreciation. With gratitude.
I might have had more negative notions when I was younger...when I depended on the world to provide a scale of beauty. But when I get dressed in the morning now, I look at this body like my fresh canvas for the day. I like coordinating something that I find aesthetically pleasing. I don't dress like anyone else, because they have a different canvas, and generally someone else's art doesn't work on my canvas. I realized that, and that's when I started seeing myself differently. Rather than being jealous or sad when I saw an amazing outfit and then I tried it on and I didn't look amazing like the girl I saw wearing it, I recognized that we all have a different canvas.
If I want to look amazing, I have to create my version of amazing. My version of amazing doesn't try to stuff itself in undersized clothes to feel better about the size. My canvas doesn't look good stuffed into anything with the edges sticking out all over the place...to be honest, I haven't seen many canvases that do look good stuffed. So I own the size of my canvas, I own the shape of my canvas, I own every thread that sticks out, because if I don't, then I can't make the most of it.
Some less-busy days I don't feel as artisitc...I feel like relaxing in some pajamas or basketball shorts. Do I dare go out in public like that? Sure, if I want to. I brush my hair and whatnot...no need for a dirty canvas, but art is art. Some will appreciate. Some won't. But when it comes to being the artist of your own canvas, you have to create for YOU, and no one else. Or you will be up and down with popular opinion and become what so many have: a sell-out. Your canvas is not for sale!
I might have had more negative notions when I was younger...when I depended on the world to provide a scale of beauty. But when I get dressed in the morning now, I look at this body like my fresh canvas for the day. I like coordinating something that I find aesthetically pleasing. I don't dress like anyone else, because they have a different canvas, and generally someone else's art doesn't work on my canvas. I realized that, and that's when I started seeing myself differently. Rather than being jealous or sad when I saw an amazing outfit and then I tried it on and I didn't look amazing like the girl I saw wearing it, I recognized that we all have a different canvas.
If I want to look amazing, I have to create my version of amazing. My version of amazing doesn't try to stuff itself in undersized clothes to feel better about the size. My canvas doesn't look good stuffed into anything with the edges sticking out all over the place...to be honest, I haven't seen many canvases that do look good stuffed. So I own the size of my canvas, I own the shape of my canvas, I own every thread that sticks out, because if I don't, then I can't make the most of it.
Some less-busy days I don't feel as artisitc...I feel like relaxing in some pajamas or basketball shorts. Do I dare go out in public like that? Sure, if I want to. I brush my hair and whatnot...no need for a dirty canvas, but art is art. Some will appreciate. Some won't. But when it comes to being the artist of your own canvas, you have to create for YOU, and no one else. Or you will be up and down with popular opinion and become what so many have: a sell-out. Your canvas is not for sale!
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